Not every flower blooms all year round - how to deal with the ‘ups and downs’ in our lives

Growing up, I was often called a princess for wanting every day to be nothing less of a fairy tale. I wanted every day to be full of excitement, something fun and something special. I guess when you're a child, that's very much possible as imaginations run wild, responsibilities are low and we live in the protective bubble of our parents who provide for us and try to make all our wishes come true.

When it comes to adulthood though, things change and so do fairy tales and our ideas of perfection. However, it’s safe to say that for me, not much changed for a long time. Up until quite recently, I was frequently told by family and friends “you want too much” and “you can’t expect every day to be perfect”. And looking back, I can now admit - I searched for ‘perfection’ and fairy tales even in the most ordinary days and expected every one of my experiences to be special and memorable.

In the past where a period of time was mediocre or not going as I planned, it always got me down and left me feeling sad and stuck in life. I wasn’t proud of myself because regardless of my family and friends pointing it out, I struggled to accept that not every day can be perfect. Rather than appreciating the highs and getting through the lows, I took the highs as the ‘norm’ and fell into a dream state where I had no tolerance or acceptance for the lows.

In one way, I recognise that this is great because it meant that every day, I strove for perfection and I wouldn’t settle for anything that is not worthy of my dreams, goals and ambitions. Yet in other ways, I have now come to understand that this can be detrimental to myself and my health. Setting your happiest days as the standard for how you want all your days and experiences to happen can result in shocks and struggles in the journey of realising that it’s just not how things go.

This is where the title of this post comes in “not every flower blossoms all year round.” For me, this quote is a metaphor that much like flowers, us humans can’t thrive all year round either. Thinking about it helped me understand that while reaching my goals and dreams is very much possible, doing that with every single day of my life being ‘perfect’ is simply not.

Although much of your life is in your control, there’s always going to be some of it that is out of your control. Therefore, it is ironically unproductive of us to try and make every day perfect and productive. There’s going to be some days/periods when you’re at a low point and there will also be some days/periods when you’re on a high.

I can now recognise that throughout our years, going through periods of ups and downs is OK, in fact, it’s essential to creating balance in our lives. This balance is what helps us maintain our goals and dreams throughout our daily lives, continually leading us towards fulfilling them.

The princess in me now understands that in order to get what I want; I need to accept certain things for how they are. Just like our parents when we were little, the natural course of life takes care of us and creates the balance necessary to achieve ‘perfect’ days and our dreams.

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